Gunkville Journal - Arts
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Review

Priscilla Pontani
Showing in the gallery at
SMARMY'S
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At the Theatre: "Catfish Goes The Distance"
 

By Constance Bandacoot

Written and directed by Milford, PA playwright (and attorney) John Klemeyer, "Catfish Goes The Distance" had its premier stage production on May 17-18 at the Delaware Valley Arts Alliance's Tusten Theatre in Narowsburg, NY.

The guilt-riddled two-scene drama is set in upstate New York and based on the actual discovery in a Pennsylvania lake of a car containing the bodies of a man and woman missing for decades. Each was married to a different person, and not known to be connected to each other. Set in a coffee shop, the play's first scene is post discovery - the children of each deceased meet. The second takes place 30 years earlier between the guilt-tripped lovers.

"Exit Interviews to Die For"

GvJ:  How was the local food?

Couple #1 (Man):  Don't know, we ate in the woods.

GvJ:  Okay, well what about the play?

Couple #1 (Woman) :  Poignant, intelligent, and hopeful.

GvJ:  Not so fast, I'm not channeling Eveyln Wood here.

Couple #1 (Man):  Yeah, so what's the recorder for then?

GvJ:  Just in case I'm forced to quote you accurately.
...

GvJ:  How was the acting?

Couple #2:  Excellent

GvJ:  And the direction by Mr. Klemeyer, the playwright?

Couple #2:  He directed it? Was that him, that old dude him standing just off stage with that long pole with a big clothes hanger hook on the end? ... He should wear both shoes. ... Yes, definitely.

GvJ:  I think he's younger and more sure-footed than that.
...

Woman #1:  If I had known what it was going to be about, I probably would have come with my husband. [We noticed her wet-eyed companion drifted away to blow his nose behind a paper mâche volcano.]
...

Guy #1:  It was tragic. It's a dangerous world out there. You just can't trust car brakes during your most intimate moments. Could end up in a lake, ditch, sewer treatment plant, or the vehicle rolls off the second level of a car transport at night onto Route 84 crossing the median going backwards and into the wrong lane until it goes over the guard rail and you both end up in corn field where a serial killer is doing some major digging. Fortunately, her cell phone still worked.
...

Guy #4:  Should have parked in an eighteen-wheeler, probably the trailer end would have stuck out of the water.

Guy #2:  I don't think they were trying to draw attention to themselves.

Guy #4:  Well, that plan worked out well.
...

Couple #3 (Man):  Gram Parsons sang about meeting at the Dark End of the Street. That might have been safer.

Couple #3 (Woman):  Safer for whom? The guilty? Is that why the street lamps are always out at the end of our block?

Couple #3 (Man):  That's probably kids with BB guns.

Couple #3 (Woman):  Really? Everyday? Hmm, I wonder.
...

Couple #4 (Woman):  Like in that movie In the Heat of the Night, I'd meet in a cemetery ... with all that cool marble against my body.

Couple #4 (Man):  Huh?
...

Man (with ascot):  What about The Blue Train and the couple traveling in icy silence between Lyon and Geneva?

Guy #4:  Is there a train accident?

Man (with ascot):  No.

Guy #2:  I don't a think a couple refusing to talk makes for an exciting theatre experience.

Couple #4 (Man):  Yeah, you can not talk anywhere, no need to take an expensive train trip.

Couple #4 (Woman):  You don't have to tell me.

Young Guy:  I would like totally talk to you on the Blue Train. You paying the fare over?

Couple #4 (Man):  Mind your own business.
...